Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
