ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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