we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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