He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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