So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Randomize
