Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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