I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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