His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she peed on how many people?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
