I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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