In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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