they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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