dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
