what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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