so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
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I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
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your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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