He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
