did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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