i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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