your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
