sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
