she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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