This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
