just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
