Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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