dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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