Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
