either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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