Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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