It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
