I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I think people are normalizing furries
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize