South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
