im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him