i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
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To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
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Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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