Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.