he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.