Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(203): View more from Connecticut

I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(203): I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help. http://tfl.nu/59br

Replies (44) Good night (6189) Bad night (715)
Favorite
(219): View more from Indiana

The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(219): The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes http://tfl.nu/ulxb

Replies (14) Good night (817) Bad night (4380)
Favorite
(203): View more from Connecticut

We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(203): We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved. http://tfl.nu/1hyb

Replies (31) Good night (5912) Bad night (933)
Favorite
(256): View more from Alabama

Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(256): Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs. http://tfl.nu/y8sy

Replies (23) Good night (2320) Bad night (4586)
Favorite
(515): View more from Iowa

His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(515): His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him. http://tfl.nu/q8r5

Replies (10) Good night (3668) Bad night (1094)
Favorite
(540): View more from Virginia

About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(540): About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience. http://tfl.nu/yfor

Replies (6) Good night (1563) Bad night (1065)
Favorite
(651): View more from Minnesota

I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(651): I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents. http://tfl.nu/48zb

Replies (18) Good night (920) Bad night (2394)
Favorite
(660): View more from Missouri

The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(660): The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working. http://tfl.nu/zgl5

Replies (5) Good night (1157) Bad night (617)
Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs. http://tfl.nu/8ywt

Replies (6) Good night (522) Bad night (956)
Favorite
(651): View more from Minnesota

"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(651): "just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk. http://tfl.nu/ji17

Replies (6) Good night (961) Bad night (465)
Favorite
(401): View more from Rhode Island

I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(401): I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING http://tfl.nu/z6d9

Replies (1) Good night (516) Bad night (262)
Favorite
(201): View more from New Jersey

Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(201): Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh? http://tfl.nu/8f9v

Replies (1) Good night (381) Bad night (252)
Favorite
(917): View more from New York City

Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(917): Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene http://tfl.nu/53z4

Replies (3) Good night (597) Bad night (337)
Favorite
(402): View more from Nebraska

There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(402): There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans. http://tfl.nu/d410

Replies (4) Good night (804) Bad night (277)
Favorite
(703): View more from Virginia

Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(703): Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill. http://tfl.nu/t0sc

Replies (2) Good night (858) Bad night (182)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: