i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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