am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
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