i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
it was like eating out sand paper
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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