Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
