your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Randomize
