if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
