Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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