I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
