white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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