absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It's shark week go big or go home
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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