we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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