So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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