sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Farmville is her only friend.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
