So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
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the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
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We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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