glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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