Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize
