drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
we're making bets on your personal life
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
