yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
