it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I am mentally ready for anal.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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