hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
