I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
