try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize