i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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