Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
