THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
