I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
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bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
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I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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