I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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