Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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