Where is the hickey?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
