Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
