"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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