We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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