i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
