Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
