I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
